This month I turn 28 years old.
Makes you look back and think wow this last year, my 27th year of life, the year of my golden birthday changed my life more than I ever thought that it would. More than I ever knew it could. This year was unlike any other. As I sit here writing this, I cant help but to reflect on how this has changed me in so many ways. I notice the changes in myself, I wonder if others notice the changes that I do. Honestly it doesn't matter if anyone does. It only matters that I see it.
This year has changed me in more ways than I even know how to explain. Not only physically, but mentally, emotionally. Everything that happened this year is something that I cant change, and something that I will have to live with for the rest of my life.
Friday, October 26, 2012
February 2012
This month began with a nice change, a new friend and I went out for a drink. It was nice to be able to have the outside of the norm friendship with her. This plays a significant roll in the future. She has become a wonderful friend and we now hangout on a regular basis. :) She has become a large part of my support system and is someone that I would trust with anything.
This month I started seeing the my Cancer Counselor on a regular basis, she is helping me to process everything that I have gone threw and why I am at this point in my life. To help me look at everything that has played a role in getting me here. the people, the events.....life. A lot of life has happened over my short at this time only 27 years. But this, this is about me and my cancer story not all the other stuff to. Yes it has played a roll in my life but not in my cancer. So that will all be left out of this. My counselor and I however discus it all, I have to make any sense in my head of it all. But this is now a regular thing in my life and will be for a long time to come.
This month I started seeing the my Cancer Counselor on a regular basis, she is helping me to process everything that I have gone threw and why I am at this point in my life. To help me look at everything that has played a role in getting me here. the people, the events.....life. A lot of life has happened over my short at this time only 27 years. But this, this is about me and my cancer story not all the other stuff to. Yes it has played a roll in my life but not in my cancer. So that will all be left out of this. My counselor and I however discus it all, I have to make any sense in my head of it all. But this is now a regular thing in my life and will be for a long time to come.
January 2012
Before I had to go back to work I wanted to make sure that all of my doctors appointments were taken care of and out of the way.
Jan 4th- Follow up with Dr. Kamelle, re checked the infection and first appointment in the process of now being on surveillance. Which means from this day forward I get to see my GYN Oncologist every 3 months for the next 2 years, after that if I am still doing well I will be graduated to every 6 months for a few years and then 1 time per year for the rest of my life.... that sure seems like a long time.... I will never again have just a GYN, I will always have a GYN Oncologist. First time I ever said these words to a friend they thought I was wrong and tries to correct me... they thought that I meant to say just gynecologist...nope i meant what I said gynecologist oncologist.
At this appointment I explained to Dr. Kamelle that something wasn't right with my mood and I wasn't sure what it was but all I do is cry all the time. I was referred to Dr. Julie Bryson a Cancer Counseling Specialist.
Jan 5th- Got my Dentist appointment out of the way
January 18th- I went back to work for the first time since before the surgery. It was a hard and emotional day for me. But it was nice to be back and have a reason other than doctor appointments to leave the house. Everyone was very was really good to me. It was nice to be back to work and be back in a routine.
January 20th- I saw Dr. Julie Bryson for the first time. I have been having uncontrollable mood changes, my emotions have been all over the map, I cry at the drop of a hat and have no idea why... well I have some idea why but there is so much more to it than just that....
Journal Entry in my Diary.....
Jan 20th, 2012
It's 00:30 and I see the cancer counselor in a few hours @ 0930.
I just wanted to write down a few things that I wanted to talk about.
-The choice to have a child of my own taken by cancer. -Dreaming about a baby - could this be a deal breaker in a relationship. - This all went by so quickly it's been hard to process all of it. - Cancer diagnosis - surgery and recovery - already back to work - Some days I can't stop crying and thinking about everything that has happened in the last 2 months
11/6/2011 -D&C
11/21/2011- cancer diagnosis
12/2/2011 - hystorectomy
- I feel like people may think it doesn't matter because now the cancer is gone. -Recovery has been hard painful and emotional. - I still have a long road ahead of being watched. I will have to see my oncologist the rest of my life because of this. - if it wasn't for Dr. Kamelle and his staff I wouldn't have made it through this in the same way. - may look/ seem on the outside like I'm ok and can handle this but in my head I'm not ok. - that's why i cry- it's always been a tough it out kinda of situation for me, don't ever let them see you cry or fail. - be strong you can do this - the stable one/ hide your pain/ just get through it. - Someone else always has it worse. - My problem isn't even close to other peoples problems. - lack of support from those that, emotionally I need them there.
It's been a lot of crying over the last few months and I wish I could control it...
End of January I moved from my apartment on the 4th floor and moved into a 2 bedroom apartment on the first floor. My sister Amanda moved in with me.
Jan 4th- Follow up with Dr. Kamelle, re checked the infection and first appointment in the process of now being on surveillance. Which means from this day forward I get to see my GYN Oncologist every 3 months for the next 2 years, after that if I am still doing well I will be graduated to every 6 months for a few years and then 1 time per year for the rest of my life.... that sure seems like a long time.... I will never again have just a GYN, I will always have a GYN Oncologist. First time I ever said these words to a friend they thought I was wrong and tries to correct me... they thought that I meant to say just gynecologist...nope i meant what I said gynecologist oncologist.
At this appointment I explained to Dr. Kamelle that something wasn't right with my mood and I wasn't sure what it was but all I do is cry all the time. I was referred to Dr. Julie Bryson a Cancer Counseling Specialist.
Jan 5th- Got my Dentist appointment out of the way
January 18th- I went back to work for the first time since before the surgery. It was a hard and emotional day for me. But it was nice to be back and have a reason other than doctor appointments to leave the house. Everyone was very was really good to me. It was nice to be back to work and be back in a routine.
January 20th- I saw Dr. Julie Bryson for the first time. I have been having uncontrollable mood changes, my emotions have been all over the map, I cry at the drop of a hat and have no idea why... well I have some idea why but there is so much more to it than just that....
Journal Entry in my Diary.....
Jan 20th, 2012
It's 00:30 and I see the cancer counselor in a few hours @ 0930.
I just wanted to write down a few things that I wanted to talk about.
-The choice to have a child of my own taken by cancer. -Dreaming about a baby - could this be a deal breaker in a relationship. - This all went by so quickly it's been hard to process all of it. - Cancer diagnosis - surgery and recovery - already back to work - Some days I can't stop crying and thinking about everything that has happened in the last 2 months
11/6/2011 -D&C
11/21/2011- cancer diagnosis
12/2/2011 - hystorectomy
- I feel like people may think it doesn't matter because now the cancer is gone. -Recovery has been hard painful and emotional. - I still have a long road ahead of being watched. I will have to see my oncologist the rest of my life because of this. - if it wasn't for Dr. Kamelle and his staff I wouldn't have made it through this in the same way. - may look/ seem on the outside like I'm ok and can handle this but in my head I'm not ok. - that's why i cry- it's always been a tough it out kinda of situation for me, don't ever let them see you cry or fail. - be strong you can do this - the stable one/ hide your pain/ just get through it. - Someone else always has it worse. - My problem isn't even close to other peoples problems. - lack of support from those that, emotionally I need them there.
It's been a lot of crying over the last few months and I wish I could control it...
End of January I moved from my apartment on the 4th floor and moved into a 2 bedroom apartment on the first floor. My sister Amanda moved in with me.
Friday, October 19, 2012
The Rest of December
December 19th, 2011
After the long weekend, missing Paige's birthday and spending the whole weekend in the hospital, I now have to do follow up appointments. Went to Dr. Kamelle's today. Ended up being placed on an antibiotic for a course of 10 days to clear up the infection in my incision. Because it was going to be over the holiday he made sure to also give me a pill for yeast infections in case that would happen with being on the antibiotic.
Christmas...
We had a good Christmas, went to my Dad's for Christmas Eve and Mom's house for Christmas Day. I stayed at my Mom's house till the day after Christmas. I finally went home to my apartment. That was a very long painful drive home. It was my first time driving that far by myself since the surgery. It was nice to be back in Milwaukee. But I had to keep in mind that all though I was home that didn't mean I was healed. I was still not allowed to lift anything over 10 pounds, and needed to continue resting. My sister and friends helped me to do laundry and grocery shopping.
I still had a lot of doctors appointments to go to, the following Wednesday I saw Dr. Nolan and the Genetics Counselor.
The purpose of seeing the Genetic Counselor was to see if there was a reason other than your One in a million that I had Endometrial Cancer at the age of 27. She went over my family history with me like a fine tooth comb. Afterwards she advised me that she will be testing the tumors that were removed from me during the surgery and if the 4 main genes that need to be there are present that this is not a genetic issue. however if one is missing then I would have Lynch Syndrome. And if I have it one of my parents, grandparents, and sister would all have it as well. Of course this would explain why I got it however I don't want that to be the case either.
It was almost a month before the results were back but I did not have Lynch Syndrome... So One in a Million it is.
After the long weekend, missing Paige's birthday and spending the whole weekend in the hospital, I now have to do follow up appointments. Went to Dr. Kamelle's today. Ended up being placed on an antibiotic for a course of 10 days to clear up the infection in my incision. Because it was going to be over the holiday he made sure to also give me a pill for yeast infections in case that would happen with being on the antibiotic.
Christmas...
We had a good Christmas, went to my Dad's for Christmas Eve and Mom's house for Christmas Day. I stayed at my Mom's house till the day after Christmas. I finally went home to my apartment. That was a very long painful drive home. It was my first time driving that far by myself since the surgery. It was nice to be back in Milwaukee. But I had to keep in mind that all though I was home that didn't mean I was healed. I was still not allowed to lift anything over 10 pounds, and needed to continue resting. My sister and friends helped me to do laundry and grocery shopping.
I still had a lot of doctors appointments to go to, the following Wednesday I saw Dr. Nolan and the Genetics Counselor.
The purpose of seeing the Genetic Counselor was to see if there was a reason other than your One in a million that I had Endometrial Cancer at the age of 27. She went over my family history with me like a fine tooth comb. Afterwards she advised me that she will be testing the tumors that were removed from me during the surgery and if the 4 main genes that need to be there are present that this is not a genetic issue. however if one is missing then I would have Lynch Syndrome. And if I have it one of my parents, grandparents, and sister would all have it as well. Of course this would explain why I got it however I don't want that to be the case either.
It was almost a month before the results were back but I did not have Lynch Syndrome... So One in a Million it is.
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